In case you missed my first post about this, click here to read it first. Otherwise, this post might not make sense to you. This page is for all the updates on my health for those that have been asking. Love y’all.
December 24, 2019: Went to gynecologic oncologist consult. I felt very out of place as I sat in the waiting room because it was filled with beautiful, yet obviously ill, people there for their routine outpatient treatments. I sat there for a bit of time, but once the finance department finally figured out how much to charge me just to see the doctor (because I’m self-pay, without insurance until Jan 1.. I’ve unfortunately been paying for everything out of my little pocket thus far), I was finally called back for my consult.
To be honest, not much more was figured out at this appointment. It was a new doctor for me so I spent majority of the time explaining to him how I ended up there. At the end of my explanation, he/we decided the next best option for me was to do a laparoscopic surgery. The surgery is the only real way to remove and biopsy the ovarian cysts to determine if they are benign or malignant. It is also the only real way to see what all is truly going on in there. It will allow him to not only remove some or all of the cysts for health reasons.. but will also allow him to clean out my fallopian tubes and any excess tissue that has grown in there in attempt to help my discomfort/pain and infertility issues. Sounds good right? So I agreed that this did sound like the best option. However, this decision came with 2 things: 1 that freaked me out, and 1 that made me super disappointed.↓
The part that freaked me out is when he nonchalantly mentioned the possibility he may have to remove my entire ovary. The possibility it could be cancerous was the reason I went there, but I never realized I could lose part of my womanhood. How on earth would that affect the rest of my life? It suddenly made me question if I was making the wrong choice by even going there. I began to think, “Maybe I’ll be fine if I just ignore all this and don’t do anything about it.” However, my family reminded me that’s probably not the smart choice.. so I reminded myself that people get cystectomy’s all the time without affecting the organ/surface they grew on. And that is potentially and hopefully what will happen to me. I’m aware the doctor is required to mention the worse case scenario that could happen… whether the malignant scenario, or that removing the cysts may leave behind such a small amount of my actual ovary, it wouldn’t function properly and need to be removed as well. Or neither and I could be fine in a few weeks. But again, right now the worst part is the waiting game. The not knowing. He won’t know until during the surgery when he sees it in there, so I won’t know until after it’s over. *But if any pre-menopausal women are reading this that HAVE had an ovary removed, how did it affect you personally afterward?! Hormonally, physically, etc. I am curious regardless of my outcome.**
But back to my Dec 24 appointment– when he said those words at my appointment, my state of mind in the exam room went from totally calm to a semi panic. When he asked if I had any questions the only thing I could think of was “how big will the incision be?” and suddenly couldn’t come up with the million other questions I knew I had. So that was pretty much the end of the appointment. I scheduled the surgery and left.
The part that is super disappointing is all my travels plans for January and February are officially postponed/cancelled 😦 That part is now known. My nonrefundable flight to England going to waste. My plans to drive from England to Italy through Switzerland, no longer happening. And unless I postpone my health instead, there is literally nothing I can do about it.
I know I haven’t mentioned too much about what Dave and I had specifically planned.. but basically we were going to buy a smaller van in England, spend 2 weeks adapting it a bit to our liking, then we were going to drive for 2 weeks from there across to EU through the Swiss Alps in the wintertime, down to Italy. The reason we planned on going to Italy is because Dave got a job on a yacht there starting in Mid-February. This is also the reason the timing of the drive was so important. We can’t put off the drive from England to Italy because his work contract begins in mid Feb. I was going to stay in Italy with him for up to 3 months exploring/working before we went to separate places to travel/work solo for a bit.
BUT nowwwww, I still have zero idea how or when I can plan my life. The continual ‘not knowing’ and ‘waiting’ is still lingering unfortunately. But they did tell me I cannot fly for 5 weeks after my surgery no matter what.. to monitor for bleeding or complications for 3 weeks and possible blood clots on a plane made it 5 weeks. And that’s IF everything comes back successful and benign. So the earliest I could head over to Europe now to meet Dave would be in mid February (we will have to travel separate now) and I will probably end up flying directly to Italy instead… but who knows. As of now, Dave still plans to go work there in Feb unless something horrible comes of this. And he may still use his current flight to England in Jan, but we are debating throwing his away too and rescheduling so he can stay here a little longer with me (his current US VISA is good until February). Get all that confusion? ha.
So yeah… When I date someone from another country who has to leave here no matter what in a bit.. I just wish I could go with him as we planned. When I have a travel blog and can’t travel to create new content.. its not just my plans, but sort of my ‘job’ and passions/happiness that is affected too. I usually love to hike, create, write, and share with you all across my blog and social media. But this is all I have to write about at this time. So I again apologize for my lack of fun things to share with you right now. Honestly just feeling a bit stressed financially and obviously a bit emotionally disappointed that things aren’t happening as we expected right now. BUT I do not want to come across as a complainer or negative. I am simply being open and honest with my current life and updating you as it happens (as I usually do with my travels and van stuff). I still feel positive and optimistic and that hopefully this too will pass. I KNOWWWWW things could be way worse for me, so I am still grateful for everything in life. It’s just a bump we have to get over before continuing our adventures. And I thank YOU for being patient with me and sticking around while I don’t post much until all this is figured out!!
I love you all.
Currently: Surgery is scheduled for January 8th. I will also go in quickly for bloodwork a couple of days before that. It’s an outpatient surgery and I should be able to go home the same day. From there, cysts will be sent to the pathologist and we will know if my health scare is over or just beginning. I’ll let you know when I know.
Happy New Year to you ALL! Put your health at the top of your resolution lists 😉